In my last post I wrote about the importance of allowing our children to feel their emotions. In that post, I wrote about painful emotions. I want to move on to say that we do our kids a service to allow them to feel all of their emotions. Sometimes, we also ask them to contain their positive emotions such as excitement or surprise.
If I could wave a magic wand, there would be less of a stigma or less pressure to contain human emotions. We are emotional beings. We would work as a society to recognize this, acknowledge, and support. Humans have feelings—all of us. The way feelings work is that if we suppress them, they don’t just go away. They linger. They build up. They manifest themselves in an array of physical symptoms. One of my favorite yoga phrases: We hold our issues in our tissues.
Conversely, after feelings are felt, comes a sense of direction, a new clarity, and a new energy to work to solve problems. As parents, we really help our kids when we allow them to feel, and teach them what to do —teach them what behaviors are acceptable and not acceptable.
It is a passion of mine to create awareness when it comes to emotional intelligence (E.Q.). Often it seems there is an emphasis on I.Q. while the importance of E.Q. gets brushed aside. In addition, cultural factors can inhibit the ability to foster E.Q.
Here are some factors that seem to wage the war against allowing kids to feel their feelings:
1. Parental busyness/obligations. It takes time and energy to stop and empathize with a child who may feel disappointed because plans have changed, or a child may come home from school acting out due to a situation that upset him or her, and it is common for parents to focus on the behavior as opposed to the feeling that is causing the behavior.
2. Technology. As wonderful as technological communication can be, it does have its shortcomings. Kids can miss the non-verbal cues that go along with written communication. In this cyber-world a flood of emotions can arise from the deficiency of the ability to read the feelings that come along with the words. The development of empathy is a key component to feeling feelings with others, and screen time creates less face-to-face time and the ability to feel feelings.
3. Kids’ schedules. For many of us, we remember childhoods of running freely around the neighborhoods playing kick-the-can, and just being out in nature. There’s something powerful about free-play, nature, and just being together with other children. Kids have independent time to work things out to experiment with moving from feelings to action. These days, it feels more constricted.
We can empathize with our children when we reflect upon our own experiences. We’re all human, right? We all have feelings about the events that happen day-to-day-- feelings about relational interactions, about things that go or don’t go our way, etc. What happens when those feelings are ignored or pushed down? THEY ARE STILL THERE. Think about what a relief it can be to acknowledge and communicate those feelings to a caring friend or spouse. Notice the new sense of clarity to move forward.
Transfer this feeling to our children—children identify their feelings with their sense of selves. They don’t inherently differentiate. As parents, and/or as caring adults in this world, we do a huge service to our children and our future to allow kids to feel their feelings. We do this by validating and not denying. It is always OK to feel angry, sad, hurt, excited, baffled, or thrilled.
So here’s what can be done to foster emotional intelligence and to allow kids to feel:
1. Reflect upon what works for you when you experience life’s challenges. How do you feel when someone is looking at his/or her watch when you are talking about how you feel versus true active listening from someone who cares?
2. Take care of yourself to take care of your child and know when to seek additional support. It takes energy to be available for your child. It takes energy to be an active listener. Take care of yourself to be able to provide this—at least some of the time. If you’re feeling a deficit, allow other caring adults to step in and help.
3. Make it an intention to be present with your child as often as possible. It is in the moments that we are truly attuned to our children with mind, body, and heart that we can allow them to feel.
Imagine with me a peaceful world in which conflict can be resolved non-violently. It’s a world in which feelings are felt--not pushed down to fester and convolute. The energy from these feelings are then used constructively to communicate and affect change. People feel their feelings, calm down from them, and then act with maturity and intention for the betterment of all involved. We can each be the change we want to see for our children.
I welcome further discussion…
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Working to Shield Your Child from Emotional Pain? What if You're Successful?
I was talking with a friend. She told me that she had trouble with the concept that we should actually want our children to experience emotional pain. Understandable. As parents we want to protect our children. We want better for our children than we what we have had. It’s an instinct to protect our young.
However, if our children never have the opportunity to experience pain—to experience life—under our supportive care and with us to teach them how to manage the emotions and conflicts that come along with it—how do they manage as adults? Do they just suddenly know what to do?
There are a lot of parents out there like my friend—who would struggle to make sense of this one. As a matter of fact, it may almost seem dichotomous. To clarify: I am not saying to inflict emotional pain on children—of course not, I’m saying, don’t shield them. Allow kids to experience their feelings and be there for support. Unconditional love does not mean shielding kids from pain nor giving them everything they want.
Here’s another way to look at it. It’s a way that I thought may make more sense to my friend and to others who find it troubling to wrap their heads around this idea:
What if your child experiences NO emotional pain throughout childhood?
The child is shielded from all pain. If the child forgets a homework assignment, you’ll run it right in for him. If he hasn’t completed it, you’ll do it for him—no pain, right? He might feel sad that he hasn’t finished it.
Fast forward 20 years: Your son is now an accountant. The taxes for his clients are due on April 15. Does he feel any internal motivation to get these taxes done?
If the goal is to shield the child from all pain, then it has to be avoided in relationships too, right? Johnny and David are having a disagreement. They both want the same toy. This is painful. Johnny is starting to get angry. Uh oh, time to go… no pain.
Fast forward 20 years: Johnny is married now. His wife wants to buy a home in X City. Johnny wants to live in City Y. Johnny has learned to leave to avoid pain when things get heated. What’s he going to do now?
Ten-year-old Susie wants 5 new pairs of designer jeans, a new DS, an I-phone and a fancy car when she turns 16. Saying ‘no’ might be painful. The goal is to shield her from emotional pain. So, Suzy will have to have these things.
Fast forward 30 years: Suzy is highly successful in her career. However, times have gotten tough, and she has been laid off from her job. Suzy is used to buying what she wants when she wants.
Okay, so these examples are a little bit extreme. Maybe…maybe not. The point is to show that pain is a part of life. Pain from mistakes, pain in relationships, pain from things not going how you expected…
Unconditional love is part of fostering resilience and helping kids to bounce back from challenging situations. When you allow your children to feel their pain and use these opportunities to support them, teach them how to manage conflict, and help them manage challenging emotions, you prepare them for adulthood.
How do you feel about this concept? Anyone out there like my friend?
However, if our children never have the opportunity to experience pain—to experience life—under our supportive care and with us to teach them how to manage the emotions and conflicts that come along with it—how do they manage as adults? Do they just suddenly know what to do?
There are a lot of parents out there like my friend—who would struggle to make sense of this one. As a matter of fact, it may almost seem dichotomous. To clarify: I am not saying to inflict emotional pain on children—of course not, I’m saying, don’t shield them. Allow kids to experience their feelings and be there for support. Unconditional love does not mean shielding kids from pain nor giving them everything they want.
Here’s another way to look at it. It’s a way that I thought may make more sense to my friend and to others who find it troubling to wrap their heads around this idea:
What if your child experiences NO emotional pain throughout childhood?
The child is shielded from all pain. If the child forgets a homework assignment, you’ll run it right in for him. If he hasn’t completed it, you’ll do it for him—no pain, right? He might feel sad that he hasn’t finished it.
Fast forward 20 years: Your son is now an accountant. The taxes for his clients are due on April 15. Does he feel any internal motivation to get these taxes done?
If the goal is to shield the child from all pain, then it has to be avoided in relationships too, right? Johnny and David are having a disagreement. They both want the same toy. This is painful. Johnny is starting to get angry. Uh oh, time to go… no pain.
Fast forward 20 years: Johnny is married now. His wife wants to buy a home in X City. Johnny wants to live in City Y. Johnny has learned to leave to avoid pain when things get heated. What’s he going to do now?
Ten-year-old Susie wants 5 new pairs of designer jeans, a new DS, an I-phone and a fancy car when she turns 16. Saying ‘no’ might be painful. The goal is to shield her from emotional pain. So, Suzy will have to have these things.
Fast forward 30 years: Suzy is highly successful in her career. However, times have gotten tough, and she has been laid off from her job. Suzy is used to buying what she wants when she wants.
Okay, so these examples are a little bit extreme. Maybe…maybe not. The point is to show that pain is a part of life. Pain from mistakes, pain in relationships, pain from things not going how you expected…
Unconditional love is part of fostering resilience and helping kids to bounce back from challenging situations. When you allow your children to feel their pain and use these opportunities to support them, teach them how to manage conflict, and help them manage challenging emotions, you prepare them for adulthood.
How do you feel about this concept? Anyone out there like my friend?
Monday, October 5, 2009
Making a Difference in the Grocery Store
My apologies if you were looking for shopping tips--that will be another post. This is about the public meltdowns (children, adults, and/or both) that we all have witnessed, and how to help.
I have had this conversation on Twitter as well as with some friends this morning, so I thought it was time to turn it into a blog post:
I would bet every reader has watched a parent struggle with a child out in public. Often we have a mix of gut reactions which can include anger towards the parent, sorrow for the child, and perhaps a little personal disdain as if viewing one’s own reflection, and not liking what’s staring back. Out of all this comes THE JUDGMENTAL STARE.
The purpose of this post is not to judge. It’s to create a little awareness and intention—a little thoughtfulness:
What will help these families that really need the support of the community?
By virtue of being at the same store at the same time means you are part of each other’s community in that moment.
It’s always good to start from a place of empathy, but remember, one can’t truly put oneself in this parent’s shoes. You don’t know what life circumstance has brought him/her to behave this way in this moment. However, if you are a parent, you can think about how you feel in this type of situation in a store, and what helps and what doesn’t help.
Oftentimes, the parents we see in the stores are worried at the same time they are disciplining about what others think and others’ perceptions. Sometimes they are just plain angry, and that judgmental stare just adds fuel to the fire. Think about this: Who gets the brunt of that anger? Yep, the kiddo, the one you feel sorry for, the one you want to help.
At this point, this statement has to be made: IF YOU EVER FEEL THAT A CHILD IS IN DANGER AT ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, YOU MUST REPORT. A call to police or child protection is necessary if a child is unsafe.
That being said, a good way to go is to ask: “What can I do that will be most helpful to the child? What will help the parent regain composure?
You will have some intuition as to whether it feels right to talk with the parent. Sometimes, it won't feel right to do anything but avoid giving that stare.
When we are out and about, we can set an intention to help any parent in any way we can. Here's an example of a recent encounter:
About a month or two ago, a father was in the grocery store line with his two kids. I, for once, was sans kiddos. I watched as a father told his son that he could not have the candy bar he was asking for. The kiddo pressed on, and I could feel the dad’s frustration.
I told him (true story) that I had encountered a similar situation the day before with my own kiddos, and that it can be hard. I also struck up a conversation with the boy about school. It felt right to do this, and I could almost feel the tension melt from this dad—the sheer relief of having an adult to converse with, and a reminder that these situations are NORMAL. The energy had significantly changed from the time we started in that line until the time we finished. I enjoyed joking around with the kids and conversing with this dad. I felt grateful that I could help, and grateful that I had been the recipient in similar experiences that had provided me with the knowledge of what helps through the kind acts of others.
Parenting is hard. This economy is hard. The stress is palpable. Let’s set an intention to support.
Let's talk as a community here. Please share your stories. What has helped you during a grocery store meltdown? How have you supported others?
I have had this conversation on Twitter as well as with some friends this morning, so I thought it was time to turn it into a blog post:
I would bet every reader has watched a parent struggle with a child out in public. Often we have a mix of gut reactions which can include anger towards the parent, sorrow for the child, and perhaps a little personal disdain as if viewing one’s own reflection, and not liking what’s staring back. Out of all this comes THE JUDGMENTAL STARE.
The purpose of this post is not to judge. It’s to create a little awareness and intention—a little thoughtfulness:
What will help these families that really need the support of the community?
By virtue of being at the same store at the same time means you are part of each other’s community in that moment.
It’s always good to start from a place of empathy, but remember, one can’t truly put oneself in this parent’s shoes. You don’t know what life circumstance has brought him/her to behave this way in this moment. However, if you are a parent, you can think about how you feel in this type of situation in a store, and what helps and what doesn’t help.
Oftentimes, the parents we see in the stores are worried at the same time they are disciplining about what others think and others’ perceptions. Sometimes they are just plain angry, and that judgmental stare just adds fuel to the fire. Think about this: Who gets the brunt of that anger? Yep, the kiddo, the one you feel sorry for, the one you want to help.
At this point, this statement has to be made: IF YOU EVER FEEL THAT A CHILD IS IN DANGER AT ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, YOU MUST REPORT. A call to police or child protection is necessary if a child is unsafe.
That being said, a good way to go is to ask: “What can I do that will be most helpful to the child? What will help the parent regain composure?
You will have some intuition as to whether it feels right to talk with the parent. Sometimes, it won't feel right to do anything but avoid giving that stare.
When we are out and about, we can set an intention to help any parent in any way we can. Here's an example of a recent encounter:
About a month or two ago, a father was in the grocery store line with his two kids. I, for once, was sans kiddos. I watched as a father told his son that he could not have the candy bar he was asking for. The kiddo pressed on, and I could feel the dad’s frustration.
I told him (true story) that I had encountered a similar situation the day before with my own kiddos, and that it can be hard. I also struck up a conversation with the boy about school. It felt right to do this, and I could almost feel the tension melt from this dad—the sheer relief of having an adult to converse with, and a reminder that these situations are NORMAL. The energy had significantly changed from the time we started in that line until the time we finished. I enjoyed joking around with the kids and conversing with this dad. I felt grateful that I could help, and grateful that I had been the recipient in similar experiences that had provided me with the knowledge of what helps through the kind acts of others.
Parenting is hard. This economy is hard. The stress is palpable. Let’s set an intention to support.
Let's talk as a community here. Please share your stories. What has helped you during a grocery store meltdown? How have you supported others?
Thursday, September 10, 2009
How Can a Parent Coach Help My Family?
Parenting is challenging. It starts with adjusting to life with a new baby—physically and emotionally adapting to parenting. Then come the toddler years, and then the messy rooms. Do I need to mention adolescence? Parents navigate challenges in marriage as well as communication over how to raise their children. In this economy, financial stress adds a whole new dimension. The need for support is palpable.
As a parent coach, I can be some of that support. I’m a resource to help parents sift through sometimes conflicting parenting information and help them find what works best for their families. For example: “My mom says I should have my toddler potty-trained by 18 months, and my pediatrician says to wait. Help!” I help the parent objectively look at the situation and pick a solution that works for THEM, and it’s not necessarily what worked for their parents or their neighbors. Then we create action plans to make it happen. Coaches work with parents to bring out their strengths and those of their children to, in turn, bring out the best in their families.
A parent coach can help parents:
•Talk with their kids about touchy subjects. This includes everything from the current economic crisis to family crises, from sex education to financial education, from peer pressure to scheduling pressure.
•Navigate the everyday challenges of family life…sibling rivalry, different temperaments, developmental ages and stages, and stress.
•Identify their unique strengths and those of their children, and learn to use those strengths to bring out the best in their families.
• Identify and apply values. For example, if a parent values independence, thoughtfulness, and kindness, a coach can work with the parent to take advantage of teaching moments to teach these values.
These days, many families do not have extended family close by. And even those with nearby kin can benefit from someone who is not emotionally involved in family issues. The Internet can be a great resource…it can be a great resource for parents to share their wisdom, and also for the expert advice that licensed professional counselors, family therapists, and social workers can provide. Parents can get the support they need and the answers to their questions right in their own homes.
I love my job as a parent coach. I love being a sounding board, a hand, a shoulder. I love knowing that I’m helping parents be their best; and that I’m helping them gain the confidence they need to help their families be at their best.
As a parent coach, I can be some of that support. I’m a resource to help parents sift through sometimes conflicting parenting information and help them find what works best for their families. For example: “My mom says I should have my toddler potty-trained by 18 months, and my pediatrician says to wait. Help!” I help the parent objectively look at the situation and pick a solution that works for THEM, and it’s not necessarily what worked for their parents or their neighbors. Then we create action plans to make it happen. Coaches work with parents to bring out their strengths and those of their children to, in turn, bring out the best in their families.
A parent coach can help parents:
•Talk with their kids about touchy subjects. This includes everything from the current economic crisis to family crises, from sex education to financial education, from peer pressure to scheduling pressure.
•Navigate the everyday challenges of family life…sibling rivalry, different temperaments, developmental ages and stages, and stress.
•Identify their unique strengths and those of their children, and learn to use those strengths to bring out the best in their families.
• Identify and apply values. For example, if a parent values independence, thoughtfulness, and kindness, a coach can work with the parent to take advantage of teaching moments to teach these values.
These days, many families do not have extended family close by. And even those with nearby kin can benefit from someone who is not emotionally involved in family issues. The Internet can be a great resource…it can be a great resource for parents to share their wisdom, and also for the expert advice that licensed professional counselors, family therapists, and social workers can provide. Parents can get the support they need and the answers to their questions right in their own homes.
I love my job as a parent coach. I love being a sounding board, a hand, a shoulder. I love knowing that I’m helping parents be their best; and that I’m helping them gain the confidence they need to help their families be at their best.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Dog Days
My family has wanted a dog for so long—even my husband. I told him when the kids were little, “Maybe after they’re potty-trained.”
As the last child was finishing potty training, he said, “Okay, now we can get the dog.”
My answer was ‘no.’ I definitely wasn’t ready at that time. Then my older child came into the picture-- an avid animal lover, who wanted to be a vet. Pretty soon, I knew that at some point a dog would become part of the family. However, I remained determined to wait until the timing was right for me, knowing that I would be heading up the care.
Well, the timing now is as good as it will ever be, and we have had puppy in the house for a week. It has involved the work that I anticipated. Very much like potty-training a child, I am constantly looking for cues as to when to take him out. I am also looking for some type of pattern. Nighttime has been pretty smooth so far with the exception of one night in which he had trouble settling down.
Just like with children, we experience the challenges of bringing this new family member in to the home and caring for him. We also experience the joys.
Here are some joyful moments I have experienced since having puppy in our home:
The funny questions/comments as the kiddos welcome puppy:
On the drive home: “How are we going to teach him to go potty? Just sit him on the toilet?”
Attempting to understand how our friends have our puppy’s half-brother: “How could the dog be married to both moms?”
Seeing the children use the parenting skills they have learned from me on the puppy:
After puppy chewed up a book: “Bad puppy…no, you’re not bad, what you did was bad.”
Perhaps the best of all is seeing my children love and care for the puppy. So far, they have been responsible when it comes to taking the puppy out, helping to feed the puppy, and giving him attention. Hopefully this will keep up after the enthusiasm dies down. If not, we’ll fall into a schedule. It is wonderful as a family to work as a team to care for puppy.
Adding a puppy to the family is a big commitment and is not right for everyone. This post is not meant to be persuasive one way or the other, just sharing my experience.
Do you have a pet? How does having a pet impact your family?
As the last child was finishing potty training, he said, “Okay, now we can get the dog.”
My answer was ‘no.’ I definitely wasn’t ready at that time. Then my older child came into the picture-- an avid animal lover, who wanted to be a vet. Pretty soon, I knew that at some point a dog would become part of the family. However, I remained determined to wait until the timing was right for me, knowing that I would be heading up the care.
Well, the timing now is as good as it will ever be, and we have had puppy in the house for a week. It has involved the work that I anticipated. Very much like potty-training a child, I am constantly looking for cues as to when to take him out. I am also looking for some type of pattern. Nighttime has been pretty smooth so far with the exception of one night in which he had trouble settling down.
Just like with children, we experience the challenges of bringing this new family member in to the home and caring for him. We also experience the joys.
Here are some joyful moments I have experienced since having puppy in our home:
The funny questions/comments as the kiddos welcome puppy:
On the drive home: “How are we going to teach him to go potty? Just sit him on the toilet?”
Attempting to understand how our friends have our puppy’s half-brother: “How could the dog be married to both moms?”
Seeing the children use the parenting skills they have learned from me on the puppy:
After puppy chewed up a book: “Bad puppy…no, you’re not bad, what you did was bad.”
Perhaps the best of all is seeing my children love and care for the puppy. So far, they have been responsible when it comes to taking the puppy out, helping to feed the puppy, and giving him attention. Hopefully this will keep up after the enthusiasm dies down. If not, we’ll fall into a schedule. It is wonderful as a family to work as a team to care for puppy.
Adding a puppy to the family is a big commitment and is not right for everyone. This post is not meant to be persuasive one way or the other, just sharing my experience.
Do you have a pet? How does having a pet impact your family?
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Striving to be Proactive
A proactive approach comes from a place of calmness. It includes planning for challenging times. Proactive parents can work together to determine what core values they want to teach as well as how to manage family events to minimize chaos and tantrums.
In contrast, a reactive approach is simply reacting to a new situation that comes along. When we react, it is often out of stress—the flight or fight mechanism kicks in.
In addition, a reactive approach often includes more impulsive behavior. When angry, it is a biological response to want to lash out verbally or physically. It takes impulse control to halt these destructive behaviors.
When it comes to proactive and reactive parenting, there is a spectrum. Hard as we strive, it is virtually impossible to be proactive all of the time. Life is full of change. Kids go through frequent developmental changes. How could we plan for everything?
Potty-training evidences both the rewards and challenges when it comes to proactive parenting. Being proactive minimizes accidents. You may observe a pattern and ask your child to sit on the potty 10 minutes after a drink, for example. However, in the beginning, often there are times when you’re distracted, miss cues, and you’re back to reactive mode cleaning up the accident. So we strive towards proactive, accept reactive, and learn from both.
Even the most reactive of parents are learning as they go, and are bound to make some changes based upon experience. Therefore, no self-judgment needed here.
Here are some tips to facilitate a move towards the proactive end of the spectrum:
Know yourself. What triggers you? What sends you into reactive mode? Lack of sleep? Hunger? For women, cyclical changes? Job stress?
Know your children. What triggers them? Lack of sleep? Hunger? Travel? Change?
Find what works for each family member to calm down. Stepping away? Deep breaths? Self-talk (“I need to calm down.” “I can handle this.”)
Schedule regular times to talk with your parenting partner (if parenting with a partner). Discuss your visions, intentions, prevention, and values.
Take care of yourself. Take breaks, eat well, exercise. Renew your spirit. Engage in activities that send you back to your family feeling energized.
Set an intention. Commit to an effort to plan ahead and to make choices. Commit to problem-solving and teaching your children to do the same.
View this as a practice. Practice—not perfection.
Each success moves you forward, and each failure moves you forward. Learn from both, and you are parenting proactively!
Do you notice a difference when you set an intention to be proactive?
In contrast, a reactive approach is simply reacting to a new situation that comes along. When we react, it is often out of stress—the flight or fight mechanism kicks in.
In addition, a reactive approach often includes more impulsive behavior. When angry, it is a biological response to want to lash out verbally or physically. It takes impulse control to halt these destructive behaviors.
When it comes to proactive and reactive parenting, there is a spectrum. Hard as we strive, it is virtually impossible to be proactive all of the time. Life is full of change. Kids go through frequent developmental changes. How could we plan for everything?
Potty-training evidences both the rewards and challenges when it comes to proactive parenting. Being proactive minimizes accidents. You may observe a pattern and ask your child to sit on the potty 10 minutes after a drink, for example. However, in the beginning, often there are times when you’re distracted, miss cues, and you’re back to reactive mode cleaning up the accident. So we strive towards proactive, accept reactive, and learn from both.
Even the most reactive of parents are learning as they go, and are bound to make some changes based upon experience. Therefore, no self-judgment needed here.
Here are some tips to facilitate a move towards the proactive end of the spectrum:
Know yourself. What triggers you? What sends you into reactive mode? Lack of sleep? Hunger? For women, cyclical changes? Job stress?
Know your children. What triggers them? Lack of sleep? Hunger? Travel? Change?
Find what works for each family member to calm down. Stepping away? Deep breaths? Self-talk (“I need to calm down.” “I can handle this.”)
Schedule regular times to talk with your parenting partner (if parenting with a partner). Discuss your visions, intentions, prevention, and values.
Take care of yourself. Take breaks, eat well, exercise. Renew your spirit. Engage in activities that send you back to your family feeling energized.
Set an intention. Commit to an effort to plan ahead and to make choices. Commit to problem-solving and teaching your children to do the same.
View this as a practice. Practice—not perfection.
Each success moves you forward, and each failure moves you forward. Learn from both, and you are parenting proactively!
Do you notice a difference when you set an intention to be proactive?
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Ideas and Mantras to Help Create a Vision
The real expert when it comes to parenting your children is YOU.
Whether intentionally or not, we parents teach kids our values. Taking a little time to reflect upon what you want to teach can help to make the most of the time that your kids are in your homes. Parents of adult kids say the time goes by fast. It really does.
It helps to be conscious of what you want to teach. Bringing the ideas to consciousness and creating a vision allows parents to capitalize upon teaching opportunities.
Below are some ideas and mantras that can be helpful in creating a vision and surfacing what's important to you. You know your family best, use the ideas that resonate with you. Be mindful of these during the teaching moments.
For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you may recognize these phrases, as this is a compilation of the tweets I sent out last week:
Operate from a vision based on the values you want to pass on to your children.
Empathize with the feeling while sticking to limits.
Love and teach your child.
Use mistakes as learning opportunities.
Teaching/learning opportunities lie in painful/uncomfortable moments.
Love and take care of your child, and love and take care of yourself.
Strive to be proactive as opposed to reactive.
Focus on each family member’s strengths.
Strive to create an atmosphere of respect in the home
The Golden Rule: Do onto others as you would have them do onto you.
What are some ideas and mantras that help you to parent according to your vision?
Whether intentionally or not, we parents teach kids our values. Taking a little time to reflect upon what you want to teach can help to make the most of the time that your kids are in your homes. Parents of adult kids say the time goes by fast. It really does.
It helps to be conscious of what you want to teach. Bringing the ideas to consciousness and creating a vision allows parents to capitalize upon teaching opportunities.
Below are some ideas and mantras that can be helpful in creating a vision and surfacing what's important to you. You know your family best, use the ideas that resonate with you. Be mindful of these during the teaching moments.
For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you may recognize these phrases, as this is a compilation of the tweets I sent out last week:
Operate from a vision based on the values you want to pass on to your children.
Empathize with the feeling while sticking to limits.
Love and teach your child.
Use mistakes as learning opportunities.
Teaching/learning opportunities lie in painful/uncomfortable moments.
Love and take care of your child, and love and take care of yourself.
Strive to be proactive as opposed to reactive.
Focus on each family member’s strengths.
Strive to create an atmosphere of respect in the home
The Golden Rule: Do onto others as you would have them do onto you.
What are some ideas and mantras that help you to parent according to your vision?
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